Smoke and Mirrors
by SporksN'Knives
Summary: A collection of Lightning/Hope oneshots. Mostly things I would have liked to have seen happen during the course of the game. Some AU, some other stuff.
1. 1 Operation Nora

"I'll call it…Operation Nora."

"Nora?" I repeated quizzically. A sad half-smile crossed Hope's feminine features. His voice deepened with loving sentiment as he answered.

"My mother's name."

It suddenly made sense. Exactly why he followed me. Why he insisted on taking the lead. Why he was struggling so much to keep his fear under wraps. He wasn't just trying to get stronger – he actually intended to kill Snow.

"Your revenge?" I inquired, disapproval heavy in my voice.

He clenched his hands into his fists and nodded, his back going rigid with anxiety. "Yes." He must have known I planned to talk him out of it, because he kept talking. "Don't tell me!" he murmured, his voice beginning to break here and there. "I know getting revenge on him won't…won't bring her back…" He whirled around to face me, shoulders trembling and eyes filled with hurt and hatred. "I know that!" I could see the tears he was fighting before he looked down, clenching his fists even tighter. He took a few shaky breaths before turning those big blue eyes back up to me, revealing the pain and unrest tearing him apart. "But 'sorry' won't cut it!" he finished, his voice quiet and broken.

I met his eyes for just a second, but it was too late. I kept quiet – not because I couldn't be bothered, but because I understood. I felt every word he said. The pain he felt was mine when I was his age. It was mine even now, as I fought to gain my own revenge against the Sanctum. I certainly couldn't judge him. Not when I was exactly the same.

As Hope turned away from me and continued on, I knew I had to give him something else to hold on for. But as I began to follow after him, it hit me.

In all our misfortune, our world and everything we had – everyone we loved, everything we'd ever known – it had all been taken from us. Nothing made sense to us. How could it, when we were all enemies of our homeworld? The realization sinks into my chest like a sledgehammer.

Deep down, he knows I'm the only one who understands him. I'm the only one who can fathom what he feels.

I'm all he has now.

I shook it off and kept following him. I told myself that I didn't want to be burdened with that. I didn't want to be the only person he has to rely on. It was hard enough being strong for Serah. Hope's father would be there for him, too, once we made it back to Palumpolum.

Deep down, however, I resolved not to let anything happen to him, and chose to strengthen myself in my decision to protect him. Because with Serah gone…

…he's all I have.


	2. 2 Angel

**I know there wasn't enough time spent at Hope's house for this to happen...**

**But I thought it would have been cute to interject, anyway. :3**

**Enjoy~**

* * *

As far as I knew, Lightning hadn't slept a wink since the purge train – at the very least. She had an edge on the rest of us, being so heavily trained and loaded with stamina only soldiers can sustain, but close to four days without any sleep at all will always be a stretch for anyone. Even l'cie.

Lightning kind of left me to explain most things to my father while she tended to Snow, who was still out cold. Once I'd relayed most things to my dad, it was pretty obvious that he didn't want to do anything but cry over mom. I murmured that I'd give him some space and I'd be back in a few minutes, but I don't think he actually heard me.

I quietly got up and made my way to the guest bedroom and peeked around the corner. Light stood at the bedside, bandaging Snow's wound. For the first time, I saw her yawn. She still struggled to keep it from showing, but fatigue won her over. When the light hit her face, I was taken aback by how really worn down she was. Twenty-one, and the worry lines and dark circles under her eyes made her look forty. It was clear she couldn't go on for much longer if she didn't rest.

"Light?" I said as I stepped inside. She didn't jump, but it was pretty clear I'd managed to surprise her.

"Oh, Hope," she sighed in relief. She was obviously still extremely on edge despite the fact that no one could have seen us coming here. She resumed tending to Snow. "How are things going with your dad?"

I shrugged. "We still haven't talked much…I think the only thing he really caught was the fact that m-mom's dead…and that I'm a Pulse l'cie," I replied. "I can't blame him for not wanting to talk…I mean, if my son came back the way I did…I wouldn't want to talk to him more than I had to, either."

My eyes had fallen to the carpet. Honestly, I was a little ashamed of myself for coming back. I bore nothing but the grim news of my mother's death and the imminent news of my own. For my father, it had to be like losing both his wife and his son, because even though I'm alive for now, I can't stay here if I'm going to try to stay that way. Our relationship has never been as close as it should have been, but I won't put him in more danger than I can help. Unfortunately, if PSICOM discovers we've been here…he's as good as dead. They'll purge him along with the rest of Palumpolum. Just by showing up on my own doorstep, I've damned him.

I heard light moving and looked up to see her in front of me.

"Don't start regretting coming back, Hope. It's something that had to be done. You know that." Her eyes had come alive again, and I almost forgot why I'd come here in the first place.

"I…I know…" I stuttered, looking down. "Look, Light…" I struggled for the right words, knowing she wouldn't give in to my suggestion easily. I had to say it in just the right way. "I…I know you haven't slept this whole time…you really ought to rest." _Hope. That was absolutely pathetic._

A huff came in reply, but her eyes warmed a bit. "Thanks, Hope. But I'm alright."

"Nuh-uh, I countered, walking to the linen closet and pulling out pillows and blankets. I began arranging them on the loveseat, still talking. "You can't really protect me if you're exhausted, Light."

She stood back, arms crossed and quiet as I made her bed. "Hope – "

"Don't. You're a soldier, but you're still human. Get some sleep."

"Hope, PSICOM could charge in here any minute now!"

I shook my head. "They'll be a while if they come at all. Just rest for a while."

She didn't budge. I let my features grow worried. "I'm trying to keep my promise to protect you too, you know," I murmured.

That seemed to hit home for her, because her shoulders sagged in what I think may have been defeat as she sighed. "Fine," she huffed, removing the sash from her shoulder. I walked back to the linen closet to put away leftover pillowcases and turned back to leave the room, blushing bright red and averting my eyes when I realized she'd removed her vest, leaving her in her skirt and cutoff knit top. I knew I was a little young to be thinking about how nice her body was, but I still thought about it. It wasn't really my fault! It was the Sanctum's. Really. They dressed her that way. At least I think so.

She turned her back to me and unzipped her shirt, presumably to look at her brand. I looked down at my own, half-concealed by my bandanna. I could feel my cheeks growing hotter. _Damnit._

"You wake me in a little while, alright?" she growled. "I don't like feeling like I'm wasting time." A ghost of a smile tugged at her lips as she sat down, her boots still on and her gunblade at hand.

"You're gonna sleep in your boots?" I asked incredulously.

"When you've been in the service as much as I have, you learn to be on your toes at all hours."

I managed a real smile for the first time since the Gapra Whitewood." I don't really trust you," I laughed, feeling truly playful for the first time since the fireworks in Bodhum. "You're probably just gonna wait for me to leave and get back up."

She chuckled, her ghosty smile turning to a mischievous one. "You know me pretty well for only having been with me for a few days."

I laughed. "That's what happens when someone saves your life so many times. You bond faster."

A warm silence passed between us. Neither one spoke nor acted – Lightning simply seemed to peer into my soul for a moment. She chuckled after a few seconds.

"Don't try to hide it, Hope," she sighed as she lay down. "I already know."

I blushed bright red. "K-know what?" I asked, fighting to feign innocence. I did have a crush on her – but I was so confident on how well I kept it under wraps. Leave it to light to crush your confidence. But I loved her for that, too.

Light smiled as she pulled the blankets over herself. "You know what it is," she replied.

I think she had every intention to say something else, but within just seconds of settling in, her eyes drifted shut and all the lines, tension, and worry left her face while her breathing became quiet and rhythmic.

Lightning was beautiful awake, but asleep, she was breathtaking. Her long, black eyelashes lay at rest against her smooth, pale skin. Her full, light pink lips weren't frozen in a battle scowl, but instead slightly parted in peaceful slumber. Her pale pink hair had fallen away from her face, revealing the childlike innocence that refused to let go of her.

I didn't think for a second that Light looked like an angel.

I did, however, become fully convinced that angels looked like Light.

Impulse overtook me, and I leaned down until my face was just a few inches from hers. I light brushed my lips against hers, their softness immediately taking my breath away. I immediately hungered for more, but I managed to stand upright and restrain myself. I touched my own lips as I left the room, wondering if I'd wrongly indulged.

Snow's lips curled into a smile as Hope left. _I knew it!_

When he looked over at Lightning, his eyes widened. She, too, smiled in her sleep.


	3. 3 Family

**SPOILER ALERT**

**When the chocobo chick came flying back to the group, I knew something had gone wrong. The next five minutes were absolutely heart-wrenching for me because Hope is honestly my favorite character. Aside from Lightning that is, but that's kind of a given. xD I thought Hope was truly dead. Worst five minutes of my life, right tharr. **

**We get to get inside Lightning's head this time~ :DD**

**This is in my "Angel" universe (will be referenced as Angelverse from now on. :D). Enjoy~!**

* * *

****The horror of finding Serah unconscious inside the Pulsian vestige paled in comparison to finding Hope left for dead on a Pulsian riverbank. For a deathly long time after we found him, he didn't move. He didn't even seem to be breathing. I was sure he was dead. I refused to believe it, deep down; I was too afraid. Too afraid to lose him.

After he kissed me in Palumpolum - yes, I knew he'd done it. I've always been a good actress - I've found myself even more protective of him. I don't know if he knows I know, though. Snow certainly does, though. Maybe he's told him I know.

Since their reconciliation, he and Hope have formed quite a bond. They behave quite like brothers, which I think may be good for them because to the best of my knowledge, neither of them have ever had siblings. Snow's always playfully roughing Hope up to keep his spirits higher, avoid an untimely brand advancement, and to count him into the guys' group. I had to smile when Snow managed to find the only ticklish spots on Hope's person - his sides. You grab his sides at the middle, and he crumples immediately. He can never help laughing, even if he's royally pissed. He's picked that up from me, I believe. He's begun having silent pouting spells like I do. It's kind of amusing while equally embarrassing.

Since we arrived on Gran Pulse, we've really become like a family. Snow can elicit real laughs from Hope. Sazh and Fang constantly scuffle over referrals to Pulse as hell. Honestly, all of them manage to make me smile once in a while.

But Hope...he's become much more dear to me than family. I feel terrible about it, though. It's a little wrong no matter how you slice it. After all, he's fourteen. I'm twenty-one. I'm a soldier. He's just a kid. We're both traitors. Both fugitives. Both l'cie timing down to monsterdom.

The purge brought him into all this, but _I_ got him involved. If he hadn't been on the purge train, his mother might still be alive. He would have lived and died on Gran Pulse, if the Sanctum actually intended to deport people, not blow up the trains one by one and piss and moan about what an "unfortunate accident" it all was. On top of it all, we never would have met.

The purge was the trigger event responsible for destroying all we'd ever had. But...maybe it wasn't all bad.

In my case...I think it may have given me something new.


	4. 4 Tears

Yes, I am aware of how tacky this is. But I dreamt this happened last night. So therefore it had to be written. :3

I've never really liked the idea of the Sanctum's sky fleet. Well, more like the idea of being aboard one of their craft. I know it's really no different than Ede, really, but something being held up by someone else's math makes me uneasy. That being said, I never slept aboard the Lindblum. Instead, I roamed. From the bunks, to the hangars, to the mess hall, to the engine room, back to the bunks. I never stopped moving. As long as I traveled, I couldn't feel the ship moving with me.

After a night or two, I'd seen the majority of the ship. I saw the control rooms. The infirmary. Everything in-between. I quickly grew bored of wandering, and on my third night, I stayed in my bunk with my legs hugged to my chest. I braided and unbraided my hair at least thousand times. I read a holobook detailing the history of Sanctum military. I was soon bored with that too, and I put it down after an hour or so. I forced myself to relax a little bit and rested my head against the wall, my eyes closed. I fiddled with the buckles on my boots, allowing the soft clinks of metal and the rustling leather to take me back to the countless days I spent in training. Back to the night I enlisted. I sighed when the image of the form appeared in my mind, and the jagged "Lightning Farron" I'd scrawled in the space designated for my name. I remembered the tears I dabbed from the parchment, the rawness of my throat from several hours spent trying to keep my emotions under control. My throat had constricted so tightly in my fight to keep the sobs from coming that it was soon rubbed totally raw. Inside, I screamed my heart out that night. I fought to control my grief as much as I could. I channeled it into my training to become the soldier – rebel – I am today. Even now, six years after losing my parents, if I quiet my thoughts, I can still hear every scream I withheld resounding through me.

I opened my eyes and shook my head, blinking my eyes rapidly to hold back the tears that rushed forward whenever I thought about my past. It seems as though there's nothing I don't regret these days. Serah used to be the source of all things I didn't regret – aside from Snow, of course – but now, even the thought of her brought me nothing but aches and pains from my own shortcomings.

My eyes widened when I heard the sound of muffled sobs, and I briefly wondered if it was me. I soon discovered it wasn't me – though a few tears _had _managed to escape. I quietly stood and looked out down the row of bunks. I was dumb enough to wonder who it might be. Then I remembered. Aside from Vanille, there's really only one other person who, though strong, might not be able to withstand everything without breaking down at least once.

Hope.

Though normally it annoyed me when people cried – one of the few personality trait the military hadn't instilled in me – when it came to Hope, I only worried. He hadn't even shed a tear since the vestige. His voice had broken, and tears had flooded his eyes, but they never fell. He was careful to keep it together as well as I could. He did a wonderful job of it, too, considering that he'd never been in any kind of trouble before. No one could have been more unprepared for this than him. Even Vanille, as grossly optimistic and sunny as she is, came into this capable of defending herself. Sazh was a pilot. He carries two pistols on him at all times, and honestly, he's better with a gun than I am. Snow – well, he's better with blunt objects, but he's practically a brick wall. Fang's light on her feet and much more skilled with her magic than I am. And I'm a soldier. Hope came into this a scared rich kid. He really got on my nerves at first, but the more I learned about him, the more I was able to understand him. Why he was so withdrawn, so sullen and pessimistic. If I'd been shoved onto a train in a strange city, stranded in the Hanging Edge, had to watch my own mother die at the hands of someone who would have to become my ally, and been branded a l'cie all in the same day, I don't think I'd be handling things much differently, if I'd lived his life.

I quietly made my way down the rows of bunks toward Hope's. My bunk shared a wall with his, which explains why I heard him. When I approached, I stopped and quietly sighed, watching his shoulders shake while almost-muffled sobs were released into the thin blankets supplied to us. I walked closer and bent down a bit so I was almost level with him.

"Hope?" I whispered.

I thought he was asleep until he jumped and made a sound somewhere between a whimper and a yelp. He looked over his shoulder at me without making any attempt to hide his tears. I kind of wish he had. His eyes were red and puffy, and his light-blue irises were brighter than usual because of it. Tearstains littered his cheeks and his long, thick eyelashes seemed almost drenched and weighted down with tears. I think my eyes showed that my heart immediately ached for him, because he his eyes widened and he turned away from me, trying to discreetly dab his tears off on his blanket. I slowly seated myself on the edge of his bunk. "You okay?"

He nodded vigorously, still facing away from me. "Yeah," he replied, his voice husky. "I'm fine."

I stayed quiet for a minute, knowing he wouldn't be able to give me the silent treatment for long. I could see from his body language that he wanted to talk. He was fidgeting. I could see his jaw moving as he opened his mouth, and I could hear the slight intake of breath before he closed it again in hesitation.

After a minute or so, he sat up and placed himself on the edge of the bunk beside me, our hips meeting. He leaned forward and clamped his hands together, wringing them over and over. He stared down at the floor and tapped one foot. I then noticed that he'd started keeping his shoes on at all hours like I did.

"It's just…" he murmured. "…I know revenge on Snow was a dumb idea…and he apologized and everything, even admitted to being guilty for Mom's death and everything…but…it's still not okay. She's still dead…and she shouldn't have died…" his voice started catching again. "Now that I've forgiven Snow…I feel like…I'm back at square one again…"

I put an arm around his shoulders and gave him a gentle squeeze, taking note of how stiff with anxiety he was. "I told you who's responsible, Hope. The Sanctum. Their purge is what led to your mother's death."

He refused to come any closer to me. "I know that…but it's so hard to believe…I mean, the idea that I could kill Snow was different. He's one guy…but the Sanctum…that's Cocoon! How do I stand a chance against the entire world, Light?" he looked up as a tear fell. I smiled sadly at him.

"It's not just you, Hope. Snow, Fang and I are backing you up, too."

Hope shook his head. "It's not the same thing, Light…I mean…the Sanctum's no goal…I can't just up and fight them." He sighed, hiding his face in his hands. "That's not what's bothering me the most anymore, anyway…"

I leaned forward so I could see his face when he put his hands back down. "Then what is?"

He looked straight into my eyes when he chose to take his hands from his face. He lingered for a moment before looking away. "When…well…even if we pull this off…we won't get anything back…nothing we lost…will we?"

That's been weighing on my mind a lot lately, though I chose not to say anything. I wrapped my arm around his shoulders again. "You've got too much on your mind for someone your age, Hope," I whispered, encouraging him to come closer. "I'm here for you. Don't forget."

His lip began trembling precariously as he looked up at me. He chewed it to keep a strong front before sighing. "I…I need you now, Light…" he whispered, the tears finally falling. I turned and wrapped my arms around him and pulled him close. We'd never gotten this close before, and it surprised when he crumpled into my shoulder as quickly as he did. His arms closed around my waist as he buried his face in my shoulder.

Everything after that came naturally. One hand sifted through his platinum hair while the other gently rubbed his back. For nearly ten minutes, he stayed on my shoulder while the tears came. I hadn't realized until now how starved I was for physical closeness, and I was caught by surprise when I discovered that I didn't want him to let go. I couldn't even remember the last time I'd hugged Serah. I held Hope tight and hoped the moment would never end.

When his sobs faded into silence, I looked down at him. I could see that his eyes were closed, but he still held onto me as though I would vanish if he ever let go. His breathing was smooth and slow, and I realized that he'd fallen asleep. I smiled down at him and gently moved back so that my back pressed up against the wall of his bunk, being careful not to wake him. I still didn't let go, and while I was still caught in the moment, I took my opportunity to press my lips against his temple.

After all…it's not a sin if no one knows.


	5. 5 Never Have I Ever

**This one was kind of meh…I wrote this during chemistry because I'd been through the material a million times…and I was trying to keep calm and not kill my lab partner. Lets say it was extremely difficult, and some LightxHope fluff was the only cure available. xD**

**Enjoy~!**

* * *

I knew I really owed Light after turning up on the riverbank today. Light being Light, she never actually came out and told me she'd been frightened, but I could see it in her face when I finally mustered up the strength to get up. Her smile, though encouraging, was backed by eyes radiating affection, worry, and residual fear. I feel conceited whenever I say I know it was fear for me, because while I know it was true, it was for herself and everyone else, too. But for the fifteen seconds I had her undivided attention, it was exclusively for me.

I never want to see that kind of fear in her eyes ever again.

I chose to stay up with her that night, knowing as well as she did that despite how run down both of us were, neither of us would sleep. Fang and Vanille would probably sleep better than they have in the past two weeks, considering how at home they've been here. Snow fell asleep after an hour or so, clutching Serah's tear. Sazh dozed off at the firepit about two hours later. After the others were more or less settled in, I crept – well, I suppose I kind of trudged over, considering I was still weak from my brand advancing – over to Light, who sat perched on a boulder about ten feet from the fire. She turned her gunblade over and over in her hands, watching the firelight glint off of all the steel pieces. I climbed up and sat beside her. She actually jumped when I said hello, which brought a small smile to both of our faces.

"Sorry," I murmured, the smile tugging at the corners of my mouth. She smiled more with her eyes than she did any other way – just one of the little qualities I loved most about her. She nodded at me and looked off toward the fire. "Can't sleep either, huh?"

I shook my head, staring down at my hands. I slid my gloves off and let the humid Gran Pulse air envelop them. "I've been here for less than twelve hours and I've already almost died," I said quietly. "Even if I wasn't attacked, I'm not taking any chances."

"I can't get what Sazh said out of my mind. It was kind of amusing at the time, but that was before I went scouting with him and Snow and found out how right he was," Lighting mused.

The memory triggers another smile. "Oh, the l'cie food buffet line?"

Light nodded, the corners of her mouth lifting in a half-grim smile. "Yeah. That one."

Silence passed between us, broken only by the occasional snore from Snow and the complaints from the chocobo chick whenever Sazh moved. I bit my lip as I examined the shallow, rocky soil at the base of our rock, searching for something to say. I turned my eyes up to Cocoon, which glowed like Eden when we saw it in from the Vile Peaks. I stood and sent my arms above my head, locking my fingers together and turning left and right to relieve the tension in my spine. I groaned as I turned, catching just the slightest glimmer of a aquamarine light out of the corner of my eye. I rolled my shoulders back and took a closer look, in case I'd imagined it.

"Hey! Look at this, Light!"

Without giving her a chance to rain admonishments on me, I slid down the back of the rock and ran about 10 feet into the dense desert foliage behind us. When she finally did get a "Hey! Be careful!" out to me, I was already at the edge of the small, luminescent lake nestled in the heart of the valley.

"Don't decide to go swimming," Light warned me. "Considering how everything else here has been so far, one foot in and you'll probably die."

I ignored her, and instead stared down into the mesmerizing light show under the water. Leafy plants and moss glowed in an array of fluctuating greens, blues, silvers, and pinks, shifting and rippling as I accidentally kicked a stone into the water.

I looked up when Light chuckled quietly. "Reminds me of the pond in my backyard…when I was living on Bodhum." Her eyes lit up a little bit. "Serah and I made up a million games based around it when we were kids," she murmured, climbing up onto a larger rock and sitting down, one knee to her chest.

I followed her and sat down on her right, my shirt front filled with little rocks. "Lets play a game," I said, dumping the rocks into two piles. "I used to play it with my friends at the docks in Palumpolum."

I couldn't help the flip my heart did in my chest when she seemed to humor me. "What game? Maybe I've played it." she said.

" 'Never have I Ever'. It's easy. You think of something you have or haven't done and tell me what it is. I'll throw a rock in the pool if I've done it." I chuckled. "An intense game of 20-Questions generally follows."

Light nodded, smiling. "I used to play that all the time with Serah. We just called it 'I Never'."

I pushed a pile of rocks toward her. "Ladies first."

I should have seen it coming. The second the words left my mouth, I regretted them. Light smirked and nodded at me. "By all means."

I sarcastically nodded and picked up a rock, turning it over and over in my hands, trying to ignore my hurt ego. "Lets see…I never stole a candy bar as a kid."

"…seriously, Hope?"

"Have you or haven't you?"

Light huffed and picked up a rock, throwing it into the glimmering depths of the lake. I chuckled. "Light!"

She managed a smile. "I was seven. Shut up." She pondered for a bit. "I've never failed a test in school."

"…I thought you quit school."

"I never graduated, but I had to be tutored while I was in boot camp because math isn't my strong suit. They didn't want to look like they let people enlist without an education. Now have you, or haven't you?"

I pridefully withheld my rock. Light's eyes widened in disbelief. "Oh, come on!"

I laughed. "I'm – well, I _was _a straight-A student. My turn." I looked up at her. "I've never been to Nautilus Park."

Light held up her rock, tightening her hand around it. "Not for the amusement parks. I was stationed there for a while. Now…" she gave me a sly smile. "I've never lied about never having been to Nautilus Park."

"Aw, come on…" I grudgingly threw a pebble in the lake. "I should have known better than to play this with you…I'm a crappy liar, and you can tell one from a mile away," I groaned.

Light laughed – actually, legitimately laughed – and nudged me. "Your turn."

"…I've been in love."

Light looked away, her chest falling in a silent sigh. Apparently I hit a nerve, because the only sound I heard for a while was the shark 'plunk' as she threw a rock into the lake. "I regret things I never said to people."

When this game turned into a deep get-to-know-you session, I'm not sure. But maybe it could give me a chance to hint to Light about how I felt about her. I felt I owed it to her after I kissed her while she was asleep. I threw my rock and carefully chose my next question. "I'm afraid of the person I like not feeling the same way.

_PLUNK._ "Vanille?" Light asked. I looked up at her and shook my head. Curiosity flickered in her eyes. "Who, then?"

I decided to play this up a little bit. I blushed and looked around, as though there were someone who might be lurking around to hear. I gestured for her to come closer. She leaned closer, more than likely assuming that I'd whisper a name. I could feel my cheeks getting hotter and hotter the closer she got.

I mustered all my strength and gently grabbed her hand, moving closer to her and pressing my lips to her cheek in the same motion.

Light jumped and sat back, eyes wide and cheeks flushing. "H-Hope…" she stammered. I felt dread building in my chest. Was I too reckless? Too impulsive?

The only hope I had was in the fact that she hadn't run back to camp. I fought the tears of dread threatening to well in my eyes and desperately searched for any affirmation, anything that said she may harbor some of the same feelings.

She looked down, sadness in her eyes. "Hope…you're fourteen…"

"I know…" I murmured. "And I can't help that…but I can't…" I swallowed. "I can't help having feelings for you, either…"

Light shook her head just slightly. Just enough to make my heart sink. "Hope…I'm sorry…we can't…but…" she looked up at me, her eyes sparkling a bit. "I'm flattered."

What happened next took me hours to comprehend. Before standing up and suggesting we get back to camp, Lightning leaned forward and kissed me – on the forehead. Not the lips, unfortunately, but as we sat under the stars in the dying firelight, it was clear.

That kiss was meant to say "Someday."


	6. 6 Pieces

**Yet another one I wrote in chemistry...I didn't want to talk about chickens with my lab partner, so I said I was writing a novel. Which was a mistake because she wouldn't stop asking me questions. Nonetheless, it was written! More LightxHope fluff. :3 I was listening to "Pieces" by RED when I wrote this, too...so that's what it's based on. **

**Enjoy~!**

****_"When I see your face, I know I'm finally yours. I find everything I thought I lost before. You call my name, I come to you in pieces so you can make me whole."_

* * *

I tried to never showweakness whenever Sazh, Fang, Vanille, and Snow were around. It was easier said than done. I _did _however allow myself the room to show a little bit when it was just Lightning and me. Whenever we had time alone, we talked about anything and everything we wanted to or needed to. We talked to keep ourselves in good spirits. We talked to pass the time. We talked to keep ourselves going. To approach our fears.

Needless to say, I spent a lot of time discussing my apprehensions with Lightning. Even though she never told me things would be alright, her gentle embraces, firm hand squeezes, and whispered reminders of her promise to protect me were more comforting than any condolences might have been.

There was one thing I really didn't want to tell her - all because I was worried about crying in front of her. Not so much because I wanted to be tough enough for her, but because I was afraid that if I cried, I might not be able to control it.

In all our mess, I hadn't had any opportunity to mourn my mother's death.

Part of me desperately wanted to, while the other half hoped and prayed I'd never have the time. Deep down, I knew that after putting it off for nearly a week, her death combined with other circumstances would make it more than difficult to pull myself together alone.

Unfortunately, on Gran Pulse, there was a lot of idle time while we scouted, and I could only spend so much time gathering coconuts. I could sleep when it was light out, but never when it was dark. I pretended to sleep, but I couldn't spend forever pretending, either.

After a couple of days of this, I decided that I had to talk to Lightning. Maybe not about my mother, but about other things to busy myself. To keep myself from thinking too much. But when Sazh relieved her at midnight, I was surprised to see her lay down and close her eyes. I didn't want to bother her if she was going to sleep...

...but I had to do something.

I got up a few minutes after Lightning settled in and informed Sazh that I 'had something to attend to', which was the code that he, Snow and I established to keep the masculine mystique - whatever was left of it at this point. It meant any number of things. Sazh didn't press the issue and I took off, only telling me to be careful.

I wasn't brave enough to venture too far from camp, so I only went up to the little area I was slowly picking clean of all fruit by day. The western end of the area was a cliff which overlooked a lake that I assumed was the same size as the ocean Bodhum was situated on the coast of. I seated myself on a grassy knoll where I could see the inky black expanse of the lake and the star-strewn sky it mirrored. I let my mind go blank while I stared across the deceptively beautiful Pulsian plains, watching the stars twinkle in the lake.

A falling star streaked across the sky and flashed across the lake, stirring up memories in my heart as its tail left an imprint in my mind's eye. The burning tail of the star brought up memories of the Bodhum fireworks. Of my mother, her youthful face illuminated by their fluttering hues. Her smile. The last one I saw. Tears blurred my vision and I fought to hold them back as the memories hit me full-force.

I saw her pick up the gun in the Hanging Edge. I watched her save Snow's life. My throat released a sob without my consent as I watched her fall to her death, as I remembered the scream I let out as she descended to her grave in Lake Bresha. From there, I slowly began losing it all. I pulled my legs to my chest and hid my face in my knees, sobbing aloud and feeling totally, helplessly out of control. I gasped for breath between each mournful cry, unable to still my heaving shoulders. Between sobs, I begged my mother to come find me, to pull me to my feet, and tell me that I'd be alright. That everything would be alright, like she did whenever I woke up from a nightmare as a child. All the pain returned at once - from watching her die, from realizing that none of it was a dream, from telling myself that she would never come back.

All at once, it was too much.

It was at least two hours before I made my way back to camp, not a drop of water left in my body. I was so exhausted that I didn't think once of attempting to tidy my hair or wash the tearstains off my face.

The moon was high in the sky when I crept back into camp. Despite knowing that I couldn't sleep at night, I laid down in my allotted space and closed my eyes, hoping for just a few minutes of sleep.

I soon gave up trying to rest and sat up. I noticed Lightning's space was empty and looked around for her. She leaned against the cliff at our backs, obviously back on shift.

I got up and walked over to her, standing at her side and instinctively grabbing her hand. That was when I remembered the tearstains and desperately tried to hide my face by resting my head on her shoulder.

That was a mistake.

"Hope?" Lightning asked. "Is something the matter?"

"...can't sleep," i replied through my teeth.

Light turned to face me. "Really, what's wrong?" she tilted my head up, and obviously it was clear what was wrong, because a sad sigh escaped her, accompanied by a face to match.

"Hope, you can tell me," she murmured, one hand on my cheek and the other on my shoulder. I felt my eyes burn with the kneejerk instinct to cry and looked down.

"I...had too much time to think."

"About?"

My voice caught. "My mother."

"Oh, Hope..." Light pulled me into a hug, and though caught by surprise, I rested my head on her shoulder. "It's...it's alright," I whisper, my voice thick.

"Don't forget that I'll do everything I can to keep you safe," she said into my hair. "I could never hope to be as good at watching over you as your mother, but I'm doing my best." She pulled back and looked at me, her ghosty smile on her face. "I'm here whenever you need me. We've got other people here with us, but you and me...we're still class-A partners, remember."

I felt everything I thought I'd lost return to me when Light smiled. I managed a slight one myself and returned to her shoulder. When she closed her arms around me, I closed my eyes.

"Thanks, Light."

"Don't mention it."

I stayed as close to Light as I could all night, because I loved the feeling that only she gave me.

The feeling of being made whole from all the shattered pieces of who I was.


	7. 7 Hirari

**You won't be getting rid of me that easily. D **

**I felt the need to write some angsty one-sided Hope.**

**Enjoy~!**

* * *

_ Hey, Light._

_ We're plunging headlong into winter here on Gran Pulse now. I can't believe it's already been six months…it feels like it's been a lot longer. _

_ I wish you were still here. Even though it's been close to a year, there are still times when I wake up in the middle of the night and go looking for you. Once, I made it as far as the beach before I remembered that you're gone. _

_ …I still have a hard time believing that it's for good._

_ For what it's worth, I hold onto what I have left of you – even though it's not much more than a handful of memories and all the tricks you taught me. _

_ You know…it isn't fair. None of this is fair. Why were you the only one to die? We were all in over our heads in the same way. Why did the rest of us make it out unscathed? WHY WAS IT YOU?_

_ I wish I at least had a picture of you…something to hold onto while I get older. No matter how hard I try, I know the image of you in my head is going to get fuzzier and fuzzier until I can't remember what you looked like. I don't want that day to come, but I can't stop it._

_ I don't even know why I'm bothering writing. I've come to visit your grave every day since we came around, and never once have you spoken to me. I've taken up believing in ghosts in the hope that yours will manifest. Or something. It hasn't done me any good, so what good will writing do?_

_ …yet I continue writing. _

_ Serah says I need to find a way to bring myself closure. But I don't think I can take that from her very well. She managed to get over you disturbingly quickly. Well, in comparison to how long it's taking me to come to terms. She and Snow didn't waste a whole lot of time to get married – it's been four months now, and the other day I overheard Serah telling Snow that she thought she was pregnant. She was so elated – they both were. _

_ I kind of envy what they have. No matter what happens, they can always find the positives in any situation. They're good at it separately, but together, their ability to be optimistic and not irritating is a driving force in the rest of us. Honestly, it's because of them that I've found a reason to keep going. _

_ I've been striving to be someone who could someday hope to be deserving of the proud smile you gave me on occasion. _

_ I wish I could deliver what's left of my heart to you. You always knew how to put me together even when I was an incredible mess. I've spent months reconstructing it myself, but I feel like you knew my heart better than I did. _

_ I can't give you my heart twice…but maybe I can send pieces of it to you in spirit. Maybe, wherever you are, the little pieces I want you to keep forever are softly raining down like a gentle rain. I just hope that if they are, you'll catch them before they flutter away._

_ I think I should write to you more often. I don't feel as weighed down as I have for the past summer and fall. Now, I'm off to find more paper._

_ I love you, Light._

_ Love, Hope_


	8. 8 Photographs

**Please note that this is 24-year old Hope and Valhalla!Light. PERFECTLY LEGAL, PEOPLE. **

**(if you care. XD)**

**I got lazy toward the end. I apologize. **

**Enjoy~!**

* * *

"You've taken up photography."

"I had to have something to do with my free time."

"Free time?" a chuckle. "I haven't had any of that in a while."

Lightning picked up an older album and began to flip through it. She'd half-expected to find photographs of sunsets and chocobos – things she may have expected Hope to take interest in. Her expectations were satisfied in part, but as she flipped through the book, the artistic shots graduated into candid snapshots.

"Serah's wedding," Lightning breathed. Hope had caught the most important parts of the day on film – Serah in her dress. Snow in his tux. Both of them standing at the altar. Exchanging rings. Sealing their marriage with a kiss.

"I figured you had to come back someday. I knew word of mouth wouldn't have cut it for you," Hope chuckled. He reached around Lightning and turned the page. "I got this for you too."

Lightning gasped slightly when she saw the pictures of Serah in the hospital. The smile on her face was one she hadn't seen since the first time she told her about Snow, and Lightning knew that the child in her arms was the source of her elation. She could feel tears pricking her eyes. "How…how many…"

"Three," Hope answered. He pointed to three sets of two pictures each, naming each of Snow and Serah's children.

Lightning turned the page and saw Hope's high school graduation. Ongoing montages of his college days.

When he started showing up in shaky shots, obviously taken in the dark and a shrine behind him, something seemed different. "Hope…"

"It was your birthday in these shots."

She looked up at him. "You remembered?"

A blush dusted Hope's cheeks. "Y…yeah."

In each one of the pictures from Lightning's birthdays, he held the camera in one hand and a cupcake with frosting the color of my hair and a single candle in the other. Though he smiled, an air of sadness showed in his eyes. She noticed a tinted bottle or two in most of them and tried not to look at them.

"You're drunk in these, aren't you?" she murmured, looking up a little bit. Hope sighed.

"It helped me forget that you probably weren't coming back."

The more pages Lightning turned, the more sketches began to show.

"Did you draw these?"

"Mhmm."

She found drawings of Eden from the ground. The Gapra Whitewood. The tunneling fal'cie from Pulse. Vanille and Fang. His brand. Odin. Alexander.

Hope had drawn their days as l'cie.

He moved back to the bookshelf and pulled a leather-bound sketchbook from the far right side. "I…I've been saving this for you."

Lightning looked up at him before trading him books. Hope's body language much resembled the type he was prone to when he was fourteen. She turned her attention back to the leather booklet and turned the cover back, revealing scattered writing on the first page.

_The greatest risk in life is when you put your heart on the front lines. The greatest victory is when the person you love takes your heart and protects it._

_ Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love._

_ All I regret is loving and never telling. Let me go, and I will not be silent._

_ Lifeless words carry on…_

Lightning turned the page again and took a slow breath when she saw herself detailed in graphite on the parchment. He had drawn her riding Odin, her gunblade in hand and a flurry of rose petals swirling around them. "Hope…these are incredible!"

Hope had captured her battle snarl. The way she folded her gunblade with a flick of her wrist. The proud smiles. The pouts. The sympathy she'd shown him.

On other pages, he drew her jaunty walk. Her eyes. Her hair in moonlight.

Hope remembered the tiniest details. The different colors on her necklace. All the buckles on her boots. Her piercing.

"I wanted to show you how I see you…" Hope said quietly.

Lightning looked up at him, eyes wide. "Hope…?"

He blushed redder and reached across the sketchbook to turn another page. "You'll have to read this…I'm not good at saying things like this…"

Lightning looked down at the page Hope had turned to. He'd written in his finest calligraphy, and had obviously spent a lot of time choosing the right words.

_Look into my eyes and see what I'm not saying, for my eyes speak louder than my voice ever will._

* * *

"I told you I'm not good at saying things – "

Lightning smiled and pressed a finger to Hope's lips, pale pink like her hair in the candlelight. "I just want to hear you _say_ it. Just once."

Hope blushed and wrapped his arms around Lightning's waist, pulling her closer before pulling the bedsheets up to their waists. He timidly kissed her forehead , his hands tracing circles in her back.

"…I love you," he whispered into Lightning's mussed hair. Lightning smiled and curled closer to him. "Now then…that wasn't so hard, was it?"

A deeper blush dusted Hope's cheeks as he nuzzled her. "It'll get easier. I'll practice every day from now on."


	9. 9 My Hands Pt 1

**I wrote most of this when I was really, really tired. So pelase excuse any random POV changes. I tried to fix them all, but I might have missed some. **

**Enjoy~! **

* * *

Just like there are things you just do, there are things you just _don't_ do.

One thing you just don't do is tell a woman seven years older than you that you love her when you're not even eighteen.

When Hope woke in his home – a glorified hut, really - he congratulated himself on getting as far as he had. Four years had passed since he'd been freed of his l'cie brand. Since then, he, Snow, Serah, Sazh, Dajh, and Lightning had been forced to make a new life for themselves on Gran Pulse land. Every day he survived Pulse's ruthless trials, he found the strength to smile through it all. Each night he lay down with breath in his lungs, he knew he was one night closer to being able to give his feelings a voice with said breath. When he woke in the morning, he was ready for anything Gran Pulse had to throw at him, because he knew that when he survived one more day, he was one day closer to telling her.

One day closer to telling Lighting he loved her.

A grin spread across Hope's face as he looked at the little calendar he'd carved into a cross-section of a tree the group had cut down. He'd been through countless others only to get to a certain day on his current calendar.

His eighteenth birthday. The seventeenth of July.

All the plans he'd worked for years to organize and perfect came crashing down when Serah showed up at his door.

"Hope! Are you up?" She sang, peeking through his driftwood door. He shielded his eyes as sunlight flashed in around her. Hope groaned. "I'm up, I'm up!"

Serah giggled. "Hurry and get dressed! You should see what I found."

He turned onto my back and stretched, sighing. "Okay…I'll be out in a second."

Hope waited until he could hear her running off to the center of our little village. Though many people were evacuated from Cocoon to Gran Pulse by the Guardian Corps and had established a settlement, the former l'cie knew they couldn't live there. Even though they'd really done nothing, everyone from Cocoon was convinced that we'd virtually destroyed their world. I suppose we were responsible in some part since we spent some time in crystal stasis. Either way, they were convinced they'd attempted murder. They knew their faces. It might be the last time they were charged with torches and pitchforks if they as much as show up on their perimeter.

Hope pushed back the blanket Serah had made out of a gorgonopsid pelt and stood. The fur was coarse and rough, but the blankets protected them all from the harsh Gran Pulse nights. Hope stretched again before pulling on his jacket and tying his bandanna around his neck. He ran his fingers through his platinum hair a few times to encourage it to fall into its normal part. He sat on the tree stump in the corner and pulled his shoes on, rolling his shoulders back before walking outside. Deep down, he hoped Serah's "discovery" wouldn't interfere with his plans for tonight.

* * *

My mouth opened in a silent scream as Hope was taken from me by people I trusted – a handful of Guardian Corps soldiers. My superiors. The handful of friends I'd made during my first deployment. All the while, Hope struggled and fought as they dragged him away, his hands reaching out to me. His jade eyes were filled with fear borne of virtual hopelessness. His breathless cries rang in my heart, which raced as I reached out to save him. As our fingers met, I saw Dysley – Bhartandelus – hovering over all of them. He raised his staff and threw a firestorm down on all of them. Again, I cried out and managed to grip Hope's hand just as the fire engulfed him while I remained unscathed. His strong, smooth, unmarred hand turned to ashes in my scarred, calloused one.

That's when I jolted awake, gripping my gorgonopsid blanket with a vengeance. My chest rose and fell as panic still raged in my heart. My hands still reached out for Hope although he wasn't there, and I rolled onto my stomach, hiding my face in my scarf. I tried to build up shields between Hope and my heart over the past four years after Snow informed me that Hope was in love with me. I knew it couldn't be. Even though I experienced flutters in my heart whenever I was around him, I couldn't shake the feeling of how wrong it was. He was fourteen. I was twenty-one. He was a frightened teenager. I was an equally frightened but war-weathered soldier. Our personalities would never have entwined well.

If that was the case…then why did I still have nightmares of losing him? Was I afraid of losing him? To the remaining Sanctum? To Gran Pulse?

…to another woman?

I gave my hair a good yank to pull myself away from those types of thoughts. I knew I loved Hope the way he loved me, but I tried to make it stop. Snow confirmed my suspicions when Hope was fiteen, and since then, I've worked to build up walls to keep myself from acknowledging those feelings.

'Age is but a number," is what Lebreau told me when she found out. Snow encouraged me to talk to him. Serah all but squealed and told me to go for it – seeing as she was married now, it was about time I had a boyfriend, she said.

But I couldn't do it. Something about my feelings for a boy who was only fifteen at the time made me feel weird. I made myself feel sick - because even though Hope was forced to grow up all at once and had matured far beyond his years, nothing changed the fact that in body, he was still only fifteen. Just a kid. Back in Bodhum, I arrested more than one woman caught having amorous relations with boys under eighteen. I remember the things I thought about all of them. _What a whore. How disgusting. Damn, she must have been desperate. _

Little did I know that one day in the near future, I would harbor emotions that mirrored their actions more innocently.

I rose from my bed and pulled my jacket on over my cutoff sweater. I remembered just as I stepped out of my little dwelling and into the early morning air that today was Hope's birthday. I all but dove back inside and dug around my gorgonpopsid blanket for the pocket I'd sewn into it. I found it and retrieved the tattered piece of paper inside. I crammed it into my jacket and returned outside. I stopped by the storehouse we'd set up and put together enough food for the long hike to retrieve Hope's birthday gift.

I left a note for Serah to let her know I'd be back later. I had something to do. Something to get.

I'd had this gift ready for a long time. While Hope and I plowed our way through Palumpolum, I'd pulled a gunblade from one of the Guardian Corps guys I'd killed. 'Hauteclaire' was engraved into the hilt, and I'd remembered when Hope asked about mine, the only Gladius of its kind. I saved the one I picked up and hid it in the ridge above our settlement, where I was confident no one would find it.

I couldn't wait to see Hope's face when he saw it.

It was normally a two-hour walk up to the top of the ridge, but I ran and made it in an hour and a half. I jumped between rocky crags and climbed down rock faces using exposed tree roots to get down to a cliff covered with grass halfway down the ridge. I ran to one of many fallen trees riddled with cavities and reached into one shaped like a pair of eyeglasses, sweeping dead grass and leaves away to reveal a plastic cover inside the log. I lifted it out and set it on the grass before going back in to retrieve another waterproof cover containing bullets for Hope's gunblade. I couldn't find it.

"Oh, come on…" I practically crawled into the log to search for the ammunition before I heard a sharp, metallic click. I jumped up and whipped around to see Snow behind me, collapsing and expanding 'Hauteclaire.'

"Heads up, sis," he laughed. "I think I'm gonna start using one of these," he chuckled, prodding the air. I groaned.

"Well, you'll have to go find yourself another one," I muttered. "That one's Hope's." I glared at him. "And I'm not your sister."

Snow looked up. "Ohhh, you're giving him a big boy toy this year?"

"When you say it, it sounds perverted."

"Well, that's all about how you take it. I know where your mind's been, now." Snow held the gunblade back out to me. "You gonna loosen up and give the kid a chance this year?"

I bristled. "How can I? He hasn't told me himself. Even if I were going to, I wouldn't be the first one to say something. It's awkward enough having feelings for someone seven years younger than you."

"Oh, so you admit it," Snow teased.

I rolled my eyes. "I thought you'd know by now."

"Oh, I know. I just ever thought I'd hear you say it."

I took Hauteclaire from him and put it back in its sheath and wrapped it back up. "Well, you've heard it. Don't say another word about it."

I was halfway up the cliff when Snow called up after me. "Don't be too hard on him if you're gonna turn him down, Light. He told me he's gonna tell you tonight."


	10. My Hands Pt 2

__**I finished this about two weeks ago, but my flash drive got stolen/lost/legs or something and I lost it all. Before I printed it all out, as luck would have it. Sorry, guys. Murphey's Law is a bitch. XD So anyway, I didn't remember a lot of the details I'd written in...I think this is as good as I can get it for now. I've started rewriting the next segment (which was originally going to be included here) but seeing as I haven't updated this in a month...I figured no one would hurt me. **

**Much. **

**Enjoy anyway~!**

* * *

_I was halfway up the cliff when Snow called up after me. "Don't be too hard on him if you're gonna turn him down, Light. He told me he's gonna tell you today."_

In my surprise, I nearly lost my grip on the tree root separating me from my death. I gasped and tightened my grasp, pulling myself back up and scrambling to find a foothold. I wanted to shoot myself for losing my touch like that with Snow a scant twenty yards below me. I half-dangled there for a moment while Snow's words sank in.

Hope wants to tell me tonight.

Nothing could have prepared me for this.

I fought to regain my composure and resume my climb. I hardly heard Snow shouting my name as he scaled the ridge toward me. I was still frozen when he reached me, and when he began to tug at the bag on my shoulder, my composure began finally making its way back to me.

"Let me get that," Snow murmured. It was then that I realized how close he was, and I felt warmth rushing my cheeks.

"I'm fine," I snapped, brushing his hand away with my shoulder and quickly scaling the cliff with all my usual agility.

"Light, come on!" Snow shouted, following me. Fortunately, he wasn't much of a climber, so I was able to outdistance him fairly quickly. I hauled myself up to level ground and took off running down the trail for a distance before delving into the thick foliage on either side of the game trail. I hid behind a tree and a clump of berry bushes about thirty feet in, hoping Snow wouldn't be able to see me as he ran past. I didn't need him pep-talking me. I didn't need anyone.

I took a moment to sort through all the thousands of emotions convening in my chest. I felt anger toward Snow for telling me. I would have rather been surprised, since that's what I've been trained for. I love my life by kneejerk reactions and raw instinct. Even before I went into the military, I never liked finding out about surprise parties, pranks, anything like that. I've always had a horrible habit of overthinking – _everything_. How do I deal with _this?_ Should I smile? Let my jaw drop? Laugh? What should I say? What if I don't do the right thing? What if I disappoint the brains behind the whole thing?

Naturally, with my innate ability for overthinking, I thrived in a battlefield. No time to think. Only time to act.

Butterflied thrashed around beneath all my anger. I'd been hiding behind all my feelings for years – I could let all that go now…

_Dammit, Lightning, what are you thinking?_ I mentally shouted. _Nothing changes the fact that you felt something for him when he was fourteen! What does that say about you having feelings now?_

I groaned and gave my hair a tug. _I should get back to camp…I can't just blow everyone off. Not even Hope._

"Your hiding place sucks, Light."

I jumped and bent over to pick up the nearest rock before whirling around and sending it flying at Snow's head. He yelped and ducked just in time to avoid it, giving me enough time to take of running down the game trail.

For the guy who insists he's hero enough for my sister, he certainly doesn't seem mature enough for her.

Why did I wish them well again…?


	11. My Last Hope

**I'm sorry if I got your hopes up just now. This chapter isn't _My Hands_ like it ought to be. I'm still slaving away at part three of that. **

**I wrote this a few days ago after spending several weeks being inspired by this picture from deviantART...( ) /art/My-last-Hope-310910117**

**I uploaded it there and didn't even have a thought of uploading it here until just now. So, enjoy this, and My Hands Part 3 should be up soonish. :3**

* * *

It was strange, Hope thought, to go from being separated from someone by ten years to ten feet in just a second. He'd worked toward this single moment for years, only to find his excitement drowned by a sickening fear of her not recognizing him; it _had _been ten years since they'd seen one another. He'd finally grown past five feet – eleven full inches past five feet, actually. He wasn't scrawny anymore. He'd long ago left behind the orange poncho and sage cargo capris. Aside from the color of his hair, the shape and color of his eyes, and the tone of his voice, vaguely reminiscent of his adolescence, Hope was nothing like the version of himself Lightning knew.

Hope shook his worries from his mind and straightened his uniform as the smoke from Lightning's latest battle began to clear. He waved the wispy tendrils away from his face and tried to keep his eyes on Lightning for fear of losing her again.

He hadn't seen her face yet, and part of him wished he wouldn't have to while the other compelled him to hold his breath in anticipation. Surely she would ask about Serah. Hope always hated being the bearer of bad news, and he'd already had to inform countless others of her passing. His most recent recurring nightmare was one in which he had to tell Lightning that her sister was gone, and thankfully, he generally woke up before Lightning _cried_, but only generally.

He'd do anything in his power to ensure that he'd never have to see her shed tears in person.

In a flurry of swirling smoke and rose petals, Lightning dismissed Odin, leaving her alone in the ruins of Oerba.

Hope's feet melded with the ground, it seemed. His voice refused to obey him when he opened his mouth to say her name. When only breath left his mouth, he bit his lip, his brow furrowing in his nervousness. Should he turn and walk away now, saving them both the trouble of an inevitably awkward, bittersweet reunion?

No. Because Hope's airship was probably miles away by now, searching for survivors. He had nowhere to go, and Oerba's burnt ruins didn't provide many hiding places. The ashes blanketing the ground would have betrayed him even if he had somewhere to go.

"L-Lightning!" He managed to say her name after several failed attempts, deciding that his broken voice was a disservice to her name and that he should have tried to recollect his scattered confidence before he'd tried again. Boyish voice or not, Lightning slowly turned her head in response, turning her body halfway to see.

Chills from Lightning's icy powder-blue eyes raced throughout Hope's body, bringing tingles and goosebumps with them. He felt his heart rate double when their eyes met, and despite being the twenty-four year-old director of the Academy, he blushed.

"Hope?"

Hope's heart soared, his fear suddenly a thing of the past, and for the first time in a while, he smiled. In a sudden burst of elation, he nearly ran toward her, but stopped and forced himself to just walk toward her. Granted it was a hasty walk.

Lightning's eyes were wide and her lips slightly parted in a smile that turned up one corner of her mouth. Hope reached out to touch her arm to ensure that he wasn't having a cruelly pleasant dream, and when he felt her flesh, soft and warm beneath his, Hope burst forth and threw his arms around her, producing a surprised gasp from Lightning. Before long, her arms slowly lifted to return his embrace in a more gentle manner.

"It's me," Hope chuckled into her shoulder. They pulled away from each other and took a moment to examine each other again.

"You've changed," Lightning deadpanned. Hope smiled. "I grew up while you were gone."

Lightning's eyes widened. "How long has it been for you?" she asked, worry in her eyes. "I can't tell times apart anymore…"

"Only ten years, don't worry."

"Only?" Lightning sighed. "I guess that means Serah's married by now."

Uh oh.

Hope chewed his lip nervously, trying to formulate an answer for her. He must have taken too long to answer, because Lightning looked up at him.

"..right?" she prodded.

"….No," Hope whispered, his chest tightening. "she isn't."

"…did something happen between her and Snow?"

"No."

Lightning's worry was replaced by confusion. "Then what happened?"

Hope squeezed his eyes shut and fought to muster up the strength to tell her the truth.

"Hope…?"

"She's gone," he blurted. "I mean…she's…she's dead…"

Lightning's face froze, completely blank. Hope felt tears pricking his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Light…"

Tears filled her eyes like they did in Hope's nightmares, but this time he knew he wouldn't be waking up.

Her eyelids fluttered in a vain attempt to hold back the tears rapidly building in her crystalline eyes. She stumbled backward a few steps, her eyes dulling as she stared into space, fighting to maintain her balance. Her shoulders trembled as she backed into a broken stone pillar, her armor clattering against it. Her knees made obvious threats to fail her and she began sliding down the pillar to the dirt.

Hope caught her before she fell and pulled her to himself as sobs began racking her body; quiet at first as she stood stiff in Hope's arms before his words sank in and she couldn't stand on her own anymore. Her face sank into his shoulder as her grief rendered her powerless. Hope held her tight, not sure of what he should say or if he should say anything. How could he say everything would be alright to someone whose world has just collapsed? How could he encourage her to be strong when the only pillar of strength she had to get her through her time in Valhalla had passed into eternity? Serah was the driving force behind Lightning's strength; without her to support, Lightning didn't even have the power to destroy.

"S…Serah…" she sobbed, clenching her fists._ She tried so hard to protect her, _ Hope thought. _Only to be taken out of time and then to be returned after she's failed…_

"I…I've got you, Lightning," Hope murmured awkwardly, trying to focus on comforting her and not on the sweet, lacy, womanly scent embracing them both now, mingled with the smell of blood and leather. "I won't let you go." He gently turned his head into her soft, lustrous pink hair, closing his eyes.

A few seconds later, Lightning pulled away, leaning against the pillar again, where Hope's hand had found rest. His other rested on her waist as he lifted his head to see her eyes staring right back into his.

Each spent several seconds delving into the other's eyes in silence, tears continuing to stream down Lightning's face. Hope lost himself in her crystalline orbs, their noses lightly blushing. Without her strength showing in her eyes, Lightning seemed to have deflated. Her eyes, drained of the spirit usually sparkling in them, were left as clear and icy blue as ever, but revealed the fifteen-year old girl with a broken heart who'd spent six years locked away, forcing herself to grow up in order to forget the pain inside. The same girl in her eyes pled for someone to love her, for someone to hold her instead of expecting her to hold them.

_I can be everything you need,_ Hope thought, hoping that Lightning would see his words in his eyes.

Lightning slowly lifted her hand to Hope's cheek, her palm warm through the leather. Her breath tickled Hope's lips as she gently caressed the refined curves of Hope's face and sifted her fingers through his still-beautiful platinum hair.

"I…If you'll let me," Hope whispered, touching his forehead to hers. "I…I'll be here for you no matter what…especially if you don't want to go on..."

Lightning's eyes sparkled while a light pink blush dusted her cheeks. She didn't say anything but her eyes said it all.

_You're my last hope._


End file.
